I've been longing to pick a fight for some time now. The problem is that the woman with whom I have my quarrel is not really real. She is, you see, the legendary Proverbs 31 Woman.
All my life I've placed this lady on a pedestal. "She's the woman you should be when you grow up!" decreed my childhood Sunday School teacher. "We are looking for this girl to date!" shouted my male college friends. I never thought much about it. I mean, what did she have to do with me, a swingin' single with no kids or husband to clothe in scarlet, no servant to provide portions for in the wee hours of the morning? Not very much.
Now, however, I'm married. When I made my vows a little over 8 months ago, I was expecting conflicts with Cal, selfish tendencies to be revealed, and alone time to be scarce. What I was not expecting, however, was the growing animosity I'd begin feeling towards this role model of my childhood, this icon that all little girls should strive to be.
I don't cook. I don't sew. I don't clean. I don't like early mornings. I don't really like late nights. I'm not so great with kids. I don't have a Roth IRA. My exposure to the "poor" and "needy" is synonymous to lunch with my fellow teachers at school. I don't like sashes, much less sell them to merchants. I love idleness.
I'm doomed.
I was bemoaning my lack of similarities to the Proverbs 31 woman to Cal the other day during one of my (monthly) breakdowns. His response?
"Who's the Proverbs 31 woman?"
Sheesh. Men!
I realize that the Bible is God's word, and I realize that I should tread carefully when taking issue with Scripture. However, I'm beginning to think that all of those Elisabeth Elliot books, all of those Sunday School lectures, all of those late-night RUF retreat discussions with other Christian girls were wrong. I don't think, I can't think, that the picture of this perfect woman is provided for women to feel guilty about not being for their entire lives. She's not someone we can strive to be. She's someone we must realize that we can't be.
She's another reason for us to turn to Christ for his grace. And, boy, am I glad He's there.
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2 comments:
"Who's the Proverbs 31 woman?"
. . . Thank you, Cal.
Miriam, good thoughts here. Good perspective, I think. I agree with you about the adverse effects of Elizabeth Elliott and other such books (I'm thinking "Lady in Waiting", too) on our "Christian culture". Well intentioned they were, but I think they contributed to some crazy expectations on multiple fronts. Way to point us back to grace, Miriam. And thanks to Cal for the man perspective :)
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