I've been scared to blog lately. It's a little bit of writer's block, I guess, but not brought on by the usual excuses. No, this time it's due to the intimidation I feel when I read Rebecca's worthy-of-publication-in-a-bestselling-devotional-guide-for-intellectual-Christians blog. If you're not reading it, you should be.
Anyway, I've been enjoying her tales of job hunting, vintage party dresses, and overall Bohemian lifestyle there in her newfound home of Asheville, and I find myself wondering (again) whether I've lost my edge. My spunk. My individuality. So I'm here to prove to myself and to anyone else who might care to read why this is NOT the case.
Over the summer it was easy to blog because of two reasons: 1) I was doing things, and 2) I wasn't doing anything. Huh? you ask.
Well, first of all, I was traveling a lot, right? I had places to go and people that I was visiting. I mean, how easy is it to write about a spontaneous trip to Vegas, or a scary non-flushing trip to Belize, or a smorgasbord of International restaurants in Savannah, or a visit with my never-once-boring-in-her-life friend, Meredith, in Jackson, or a move to a new apartment across town? Pretty easy.
On the other hand, I had lots of time. When I wasn't traveling, I was sitting in my tiny little house doing nothing but eating Thomas's English Muffins (lite), watching The Price is Right, or blogging. I wasn't exhausted from a day at work, my brain wasn't fried from teaching grammar to middle schoolers for 7 hours, and I was getting at least 10 hours of sleep a night. Embarrassing, but true.
Nevertheless, when I find myself questioning why I can't come up with anything to blog about, and when I come to the frightening realization that it's because I haven't done or thought anything worthy of blogging about, I get a little worried that I'm losing something. That I'm slowly becoming someone who's okay to just be or exist. This notion scares the heck out of me.
I feel certain that my lack of adventure lately stems from typical middle-of-the-school-year busyness and exhaustion, one that hits this time every year. I have time to do fun and exciting things like suddenly deciding go to a rock concert on a weeknight in Atlanta, but do I really want to anymore? Not at the moment. Over the summer, when I can sleep late the next morning, it'll be a different story.
I've been thinking on all of this for almost a week now, and I haven't come up with any solid answers. One thing I do know, however, is that I don't want to become content with just living a humdrum life, going to work, going to the gym, coming home, and sitting in front of my television.
I want to be challenged by something, to maintain that strong individuality that was developed and honed during my time in Athens. I pray to that end. And because of this desire and prayer, I haven't given up hope. Having a yearning for an edge or passion is, itself, some form of edge or passion.
Right?
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3 comments:
Absolutely right! You, Miriam, are -anything- but humdrum (even if the mid-winter lull makes you feel otherwise).
And, you have discovered my secret. I am unemployed. I am full of extra hours. I sleep late, am well-rested, and well-read. And therefore have lots of time to sit in front of the computer at 10:30am with a cup of coffee to write. (The downside is that I'm about to stop being able to afford buying said coffee.)
Don't worry, the blog quality will significantly decrease, hopefully soon, when I get a fulltime job again.
And PLEASE, Miriam - you could write me under the table any day. You guys are all being very nice and encouraging, but my blogs are not intimidation material. Thanks for boosting my ego, though :)
AND, you are SO adventuresome. It's in your blood. You will not lose your edge, no chance. None at all. I won't hear of it, and would never believe it. You are bringing Bohemia to Macon, Miriam. It's a big job - you've got to take a break sometimes...
Ahahahahahaaha!!! Hahahahaha!!!
I am laughing. Outloud. Especially at those last two sentences.
That comment, right there above this one, is reasons 1 - 1,000,000 for why I love Rebecca.
Also why everyone else should be reading her stuff. She's good, folks. I mean it.
Yes she is.
And think you're right about the whole passion thing. At least, I hope so. . . that's my only chance.
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