If not Lance, then maybe Maria Sharapova*?

... or maybe not.

Against my better judgment, and in yet another attempt to find physical activity that I actually enjoy, I've signed up for a 4-week intensive beginner tennis clinic at the local tennis center.

The one perk? A free tennis racquet. How have I already used that perk to show my incompetence? I left it at the courts after practicing the other day.

Oh yes. I'm not lying. I didn't discover my embarrassing mistake until I pulled up to the parking lot of the tennis center the other day, five minutes before my class started. I had to borrow one from the front desk. I also had to explain very publicly to my coach (and director of the entire center) why I didn't have the one he gave me.

"Lefty**!" he shouts from across the net. "Why aren't you playing with the racquet I gave you?"
"Um, because I've lost it," I have to yell, sheepishly, back.
"Lost it? I just gave it to you last week!"
"I left it on the courts at my school after playing yesterday."
(accompanied by a look of disbelief) "Seriously?"
(accompanied by profuse blushing/blotchiness) "Well, um, at least you have proof that I was out practicing."

Right. Off to a great start.

*I didn't even know the name of the hot blonde that all the guys love. I had to ask Cal. He, of course, had to think about it a while before remembering her name. Right, Cal? RIGHT?????
**I have, for the duration of this four weeks, been stripped of my identity as "Miriam". I am nothing more than the only lefty on the courts.