Losing My Mind (in more than one way)

This week has been one in which I have wished either that 1) I was not a teacher and was at work like everyone else, or 2) Everyone that I'm friends with was also a teacher and therefore available at any particular moment for me to play with. Preferably the latter, of course.

I was discussing with friends at Bible Study last night how frustrating it's been for me the last few days to be at home or running errands alone all day long, only to have my friends (namely, Elizabeth) get off of work and be rightfully too exhausted to go out and have an exciting evening. She laughingly said that she now knows how it must feel to be a traditional married couple, where the husband works and the wife stays home either alone or with very young kids. He comes in dead tired and wanting to do nothing but collapse on his favorite chair in front of the television, and She finally has someone with a developmental stage over the age of 3 years old to talk to. She talks and talks and talks and gets all of her pent up energy out, and he, still, remains unresponsive. It all makes sense, now! So does this make Elizabeth my husband? Hmmm. Too weird to think about. Let's move on, shall we? :)

I think it's probably worse coming off of a really nice holiday weekend, when Elizabeth was available for three full days. Saturday was the absolute perfect day ... she woke me up late with a phone call around 10 am suggesting that we head over to the pool, at which point I jumped up and pulled on my suit and ran out the door. We lounged by the pool for a couple of hours, then had lunch at Twila Faye's Tearoom in Bolingbroke in our bathing suits and with our wet hair. So fun. Later, we went and got pedicures, and then I rode a motorcycle. I mean, who could ask for a better Saturday?

Sunday and Monday went by pretty much the same way. Sunday began with the epitomy of all Patriotic Cheesiness with the 4th of July church service at First Pres., complete with a picnic afterwards. We went and had sushi that night (I know, I know, not very patriotic), then drove around town to find that everything in Macon that might have been fun to do was closed on a Sunday night. Who knew? At least now I know that I'm not missing out on anything when I go to bed early to prepare for the start of the week during the school year. Then, on Monday, I went to a neighborhood picnic for the 4th, then a cookout at a friends house for dinner, then fireworks.

So, you see, those weekend hours packed full of things to do have been contrasted sharply with the hours of boredom I've experienced since then, thus heightening the sense of lonliness and desperation I'm feeling. Not really lonliness, perhaps. Desperation, definitely. I'm a little disappointed because this weekend, when I finally will have friends off of work to play with, I have to head over to Mercer to chaperone a Y Club retreat called Summer Blast. I'll be in Macon, but instead of sleeping in my comfortable bed at my new home, I'll be in a sleeping bag in a dorm room. Sigh. It's okay. I committed to it, and it won't be as bad as I now think it will be. My selfish tendencies just want to keep my weekend to myself. Hey, if nothing else, it'll be something to blog about, right?

I've been spending the morning reading the blogs of my other friends, and I've realized that I am totally and ridiculously subpar to the intellect of others. I mean, I ramble about such surface and everyday things, while they're all debating theology and whatever really intellectual book they're reading by whichever historian, apologist, philosopher, dead poet, etc. they happened upon during the course of their day. I'm reading Harry Potter, Book V, for the second time. and now I'm concerned that Macon is dumbing me down. I used to be able to hang with the best of them in all types of intellectual conversations, and, now, I can't think any deeper than whether or not to fight the humidity and straighten my curly hair when I get out of the shower. I'm sad about that. My intellect gave me what little edge I used to have. I can't afford to lose it. I refuse to lose it.

I think I'll get a library membership this afternoon.